Medicine

by Paul Arend

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      $10 USD  or more

     

1.
02:58
2.
03:36
3.
4.
5.
6.
06:13
7.
01:12
8.
9.
10.
01:49
11.
03:51
12.

about

I recorded these songs in my bedroom. they are for for my friends, family, and anyone who has ever felt any emotion at all, ever. thanks for listening!

credits

released July 12, 2016

all songs written & recorded by Paul Arend

mixed by Paul Arend at The Fly Shop in Redding, CA

mastered by Chris Greely

a big thanks to the following for love, support, borrowed time & borrowed gear:

Dan Mackenzie, Peter Mattis, John-Paul Gentile, Jaron Schamuhn, Weston Clark, Chris Greely, Mercedes Tabish, Austin Schwichtenberg, Elisa Orta, Shane Tiller, Michael Davis, Luke Hendrickson, JD Hudson, and Hunter Thompson

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Paul Arend Redding, California

my music is a deeply personal test in pushing past the constraints of familiarity. it reflects my progression of personal development and discovery of self.

the content here should not be viewed as individual pieces, but rather chapters that contribute to a broader work.

I sincerely hope it inspires you to push past what you know, to truly find yourself.
... more

contact / help

Contact Paul Arend

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Track Name: Intro
I try my best to keep my head in honesty
and wear my heart out on my sleeve
so everybody gets a piece of me
but I get tired sometimes

I try my best to keep my distance from the dark
cause the loss of light makes things feel right
things nobody should of ever touched
but I get tempted and tried sometimes

all I’ve ever wanted was
to be someone who wanted what’s right
but even good intentions can
get twisted by a the pain of living life
sometimes
Track Name: Emma
I wanna be angry at you
but I just can’t follow through
I wanna say I don’t miss you
but honestly, it’s not true

if you weren’t so close to perfect
it would be easier to move along
but I’m getting this sinking feeling
I’m losing more by holding on

maybe it’s just bad timing
but I don’t know what to do
maybe I’m compromising
but I’m getting over you

I wish I could tell you first hand
how much you’ve done for me
and though I still don’t understand
your feelings are enough for me

maybe it’s just bad timing
but I don’t know what to do
maybe I’m compromising
but I’m getting over you

maybe I’m moving on to soon
but there aren’t so many options left for us
maybe I’m getting over you
maybe you love me
but it’s not enough
Track Name: Don't Go Away
such an inspiring turn to a stale dissertation
seeing you, meeting you, making a bold invitation
small talk and courtesy is where I mainly thrive
I do my best to avoid social suicide
though clearly you could only improve my reputation

sincerely I’m sorry for showing up being so fragile
but conversation on the surface is all I can handle
accolades, politics, I couldn’t give a rip
if you do, it’s okay, I’ll listen anyway
truth is I’m happy to sit here and stare as you ramble

you are the reincarnation of every part
I lost believing for more
there’s a condolence in knowing I’m closer than
I ever have been before

lately I’ve felt tired from seemingly constant rejection
but your magnetism’s reversing my current direction
you’ve got a lighthearted manner so comforting
and such a heavenly face
I could be anything, anyone, anytime
if I could get you to stay

don’t go
don’t go
don’t go
don't go
away, away
Track Name: Trying to Hide
when I was a boy I made a friend of fear
when walls went up my problems seemed to disappear
I wasn’t trying to hide anything from anyone
I wasn’t trying to hide anything from anyone

when I was a boy I picked up disciplines
to board up every door that let rejection in
I wasn’t trying to hide anything from anyone
I wasn’t trying to lie to myself of anyone

but it shut me down
and it kept me down
yeah it shut me down
yeah it kept me down

when I was a boy I craved stability
and sadness never acted unpredictably
I wasn’t trying to hide anything from anyone
I wasn’t trying to lie to myself or anyone

it’s funny all the walls I built that seemed so safe and strong
were bitter monuments that kept my heart cold for so long
it’s funny thing that pain's no indicator of something wrong
maybe improving hurts the same
despite it being what you want
Track Name: I Wish You'd Get out of My Head
I wish you'd get out of my head
Track Name: Ocean Eyes
on the first day of high school I saw her
on the front row of the freshman choir
she had cheeks as red as roses
flushed from all the introductions
I knew she was what I wanted
when she caught me staring with her

ocean eyes
stormy eyes
like the changing tide
different every time

I met her at my brother’s commencement
to the college she later attended
she had wounds from bad religion
and a face for television
but she won my full attention
when she turned and struck me with her

ocean eyes
stormy eyes
like the changing tide
different every time

ocean eyes
suddenly, I feel like I'm drowning
ocean eyes
so beautiful and terrifying

in my best friend’s backyard on thanksgiving
she made fun of the shoes I was wearing
her charisma was refreshing
gentle, kind, and so accepting
but I saw the end predestined
when I realized that she had ocean eyes

ocean eyes
stormy eyes
like the changing tide
different every time
Track Name: Front the Fees
we'd been together for awhile and
I was tired all the time back then
something about the way you looked
at me with those eyes drove me insane
wish that I could remember
the way I felt when you said my name
now you’ve got me thinking about

summer nights, summer dreams
have to go eventually
change your flight, front the fees
I’ll answer impartially
pack your bags, meet for drinks
tell me you feel you’re drowning
where was I left to die
and where did I go wrong?

I never should’ve kept you
never ever should’ve let you in
but something about your indifferent
approach to me felt so defeating
wish that I could take back all the
times I tried to stop you leaving
now I’m trying to forget those

summer nights, summer dreams
have to go eventually
change your flight, front the fees
I’ll answer impartially
pack your bags, meet for drinks
tell me you feel you’re drowning
where was I left to die
and where did I go wrong?

truth is, I’m scared to face the world alone
truth is, I'm scared, I'm scared
I'm scared to face the world alone
truth is, I'm scared, I'm scared
I'm scared to face the world alone
truth is, I'm scared to face the world alone
but it’d be better than with you

summer nights, summer dreams
have to go eventually
change your flight, front the fees
I’ll answer impartially
pack your bags, meet for drinks
tell me you feel you’re drowning
where was I left to die
and where did I go wrong?

where did I go wrong?
Track Name: Out of Time
did the cat get your tongue?
have you made your decision?
do you really not know?
or are you scared of letting me go?

I didn’t want it to end right now
but it’s clear that we’re not working things out
and the tears in your eyes
are proving my fears - that I'm out of time

the romantic side of me
would’ve waited a million years for you
but the stronger side of me
can’t drag my heart through the dirt again

and the better part of me
would have seen the end suffering for
but my own self respect
keeps keeping me from what I want
from you

but I still want you
Track Name: Am I Wrong?
there’s got to be a medicine to slow my growing older
there’s got to be a method to keep my heart from getting colder
there’s got to be a way to keep the barking dogs at bay
I’ve got splinters in my fingertips from holding back the gates
I’ve got to make a plan because it seems they’re getting stronger

there’s got to be a perfect prayer to save a non believer
there’s got to be a holy flow to keep my conscious cleaner
there’s got to be a secret trick to holding onto innocence
regardless of the vicious lips of people sharing loneliness
I must resist acquiring their critical demeanor

I’ve heard there’s a fountain that never runs dry
where the old men can drink from and never will die
a wellspring eternal to mend and revive
appointed from the heavens by power divine

I could be wrong, but then, what if I’m right?
if I am, what a plan, what a pleasant surprise
a glimmer, a flicker in the darkest of nights
maybe hope’s not reserved for elect sanctified

just like the preacher pounding the pulpit
for so long
for so long
and he’s bruising his fist
am I wrong
am I wrong
for believing the best?

am I wrong?
am I wrong?
am I wrong?
am I wrong?
am I wrong?
am I wrong?
am I wrong?
am I wrong?
am I wrong?
am I wrong?
am I wrong?
am I wrong?
am I wrong?
Track Name: You'll Be Fine
maybe there’s some interstellar, supersonic
intergalactic entity up above
and he’s biding his time, to make it all right
maybe he’s been watching every human patiently
like a player at a chessboard of pawns
and he’s nudging his pieces across the lines

I’m sorry you’ve been feeling so low

I’m sorry
you’ve been feeling so rough
give it time
give it time
a few weeks
will make the pain stop
give it time
you’ll be fine

maybe there’s a cosmic paradise
when we pass from our bodies and are nothing but souls
and we’ll hold an account for all we’ve done wrong
maybe there’s just comfort in knowing
at the end of the day, you’re not the one in control
and there’s been a master plan all along

and I’m sorry, that I brought you so low

I’m sorry
you’ve been feeling so rough
give it time
give it time
a few weeks
will make the pain stop
give it time
you’ll be fine